That question hits me every day, over and over again like a bully who doesn’t know when to draw the line. No matter how many times I fight back, tell it to stop, cry, try to avoid it, or tell on it, it just keeps coming back. Am I good enough? Am I good enough […]
Every day, it’s in the back of my mind. I’m a burden. No one wants to be around me. I’m an obligation for them. A burden. Always a burden. Never good enough. Whatever I do, I’ll never be good enough. Never be smart enough. Pretty enough. Accomplished enough. Ambitious enough. Athletic enough. Interesting enough. Funny […]
It’s been a year since my first post. My public writing in the past several months has since tapered off. I’ve used this blog as my outpost for speaking out about my depression and anxiety, as a way to update people in my life about how I’m fairing, and also as a cathartic means of […]
I look at the moon tonight, and I see this strange, close proximity to our planet, and I feel the vastness of this earth and of this universe. I’m suddenly pulled back in time and reminded of the other times I’ve felt this way. But it wasn’t by looking at the stars. It was looking […]
Overview and Case Study: What It Is “It’s your fault they denied you. You were selfish. You had no self-control and YOU did this. You’re a fucking terrible person, who drove away the people who tried to care about you. Because you’re depressed. Because you’re anxious about everything. And it’s your fault for being sick […]
“It’s all your fault. If you hadn’t…this wouldn’t have happened to you. Your parents warned you, you really can’t trust anyone. Stop getting yourself in these situations. Stop thinking that maybe there are good people – maybe you can trust someone. Stop believing in the world. Stop giving yourself hope. Stop setting yourself up for […]
Passion. Desire. Hopes. Dreams. Wanting. Whatever you call it, these are the feelings, the emotions that keep us here. These are the moments we live for. Whether we want a future of surprises or planning out every single moment of our lives, that basic need to have, to do, to feel, is something that pushes […]
I grew up in California. One of the prerequisites for my college choice was how far away it was from home. So I spent four years in the Mid-Atlantic. I was graduating, and I wanted to leave again – so I ended up in Boston. I went from the desert in the southwest to the […]
“The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death – however mutable man may be able to make them – our existence as a species […]
If you’ve ever caught a glimpse of what I used to write when I was in high school, then you know how incredibly bleak it was. And you’ll know how incredibly difficult it was for me to trust people. I could blame that on so many things: parents who never let me out of the […]
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